From the Personal Files of Sirius Black
by blue eyed babe 02
Summary: Okay so basically these are a bunch of random essays written by Sirius. Wide variety from his story of how Lily and James fell in love to his reaction when he found out his brother was a Death Eater. Please R&R! Let me know if his character is consistent.


From the Files of Sirius Black:

Dreamer

Disclaimer: Some plot elements and characters belong to JK Rowling. The song "American Pie" was written and sung by Don McLean. Anything you don't recognize, however, belongs to me.

A/N: Just decided to throw this one out there. I wrote it in my spare time. Review with your thoughts (good and bad). I don't care what you have to say, I'd just like to hear your opinion. I had this lying around so I decided to put it up here. I have some more kind of like it, if you'd like to see them, just say so.

It's funny how somebody can appear one way to the untrained eye, but, once you got to know them, turn out so damn differently. That's how James was back in school. Most people saw James as the Gryffindor star chaser and team captain, a master prankster, brilliant at anything he attempted, and, well, a bit big-headed at times. But to us, James was a dreamer. He was a poet, a musician, an artist and any other word you might use to describe a complete loser. However, he was my best mate, that's why I didn't tell anybody about his secret hobbies—it was, of course, for my own reputation as much as his.

When he assumed the dorm was empty and he was in an incredibly mopey mood, he'd sit on his four-poster and start singing muggle pop songs from the United States. I admit, he was good, but honestly, singing? Musician and jock didn't mix in any universe as far as I was concerned. So, I concealed this interest of his from the public eye, as he no doubt wanted, thinking it was just a phrase that would soon be over. Little did I know that this was his true personality, bursting to emerge.

_I met a girl who sang the blues_

_And I asked her for some happy news _

_But she just smiled and turned away, _

_I went down to the sacred store _

_Where I'd heard the music years before _

_But the man there said the music wouldn't play_

He was, of course, talking (or singing I wager would be more appropriate) about his love interest, Miss Evans. He'd been obsessed with Lily Evans since, well, pretty much since he entered this bloody place. After having tremendous luck with girls in his first few years at Hogwarts (which I must say, I had quite a lot to do with), he finally worked up the nerve to ask Lily out in our fourth year. She refused him point blank.

Being as competitive as he is, he continued to invite her to various events (i.e. dinner, movies, his dorm room, the coffee shop, Hogsmede, his dorm room, the enchanted forest, long strolls on the grounds, his dorm room…you get the idea) throughout our fourth and fifth years. Lily kept on refusing him (especially when he suggested his dorm room, though I can't think of why.) When he asked her what kind of guys she liked she always responded that her perfect guy would by smart, sensitive, caring, artsy, and possibly every word you could use to describe the real James.

Well, I must say, James was a bit of idiot. Well, he achieved good marks in class, but when it came to common sense, let's just say he was lacking in that department. I mean seriously, what would it take to make him realize that all he had to be was to be his true self? I, of course, did not remind him of this—I didn't want to lose my best mate. Most people would try to justify withholding something like this from their best mate to themselves by at least saying that they were doing it for their mate. I didn't bother—I knew that it for myself, and my selfish self only. When it finally became clear that James wasn't going to land Lily by his own methods, somebody had to state the obvious to him.

_So bye, bye, Miss American Pie,_

_Drove my Chevy to the levee_

_But the levee was dry._

_And good ol' boys_

_Were drinking whiskey and rye_

_Singing this'll be the day that I die_

_This'll be the day that I die._

(This one I actually sang—from the same song James sang before. I found the lyrics under his bed!) I finally told him to give up on Lily at the end of our fifth year. And to think the bastard actually listened to me! After that, things finally returned to normal. Well, he was depressed for a few hours, but after a quick shag with a village girl and a bottle of firewhiskey, he was ready to be his old self again. Damn, that makes him look like a bit of an arse, doesn't it? Oh well, I'm an author now, it's my soul duty to report the truth. Well, as much as I feel like letting the outside world know, anyways.

You're probably wondering why I, of all people are writing this. My teachers (or at least the ones who appreciated my hidden talents) would say I'm finally putting my humor to work and making something out of myself. Those who looked up to me (and hero-worshiped me in some cases) would say it was to pay off the remorse I felt from discouraging my mate from being his true self. The romantics would say that it is to tell the story of Lily and James's love. However, it's those who thought nothing but ill thoughts of me who would probably get it right. I'm writing this novel (for lack of a better word) because I've hit a rough patch in my life and need some sort of cash flow to support my extravagant lifestyle.

It's a damn shame, but the first time Lily and James really got to talking was the day we graduated. I however was too busy to notice. I mean, c'mon, it was GRADUATION! After seven long years of all-nighters, a shit-load of exams, hand cramps from writing the millions of goddamn essays, and too many detentions to count, we were finally out of that hell hole. I was off to my late Uncle Archie's house to set up for my end of term extravaganza that James and I threw at the end of every year. Only this year, it was going to be bigger than ever—we were, after all, out of school.

Everyone who was anyone showed up (which mean anyone who wasn't in Slytherin.) We had the hottest girls from Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, Durmstrang, England (in general) and all of England's neighboring countries there. It was where all of us were first laid. (Except for Peter, who we determined would remain a virgin for all eternity.) Little did I know that my mate would blow off the party of the year, nay, the party of our school careers for some chick.

"Damn, I can't believe it's over," James said to no one in particular, shaking his head and pushing the oversized oak front doors of Hogwarts open for seemingly the last time.

"Me neither," replied the voice he knew all to well, her footsteps hurrying to catchy up with him. James turned an looked around, could it be possible that Lily Evans had actually initiated a conversation with him? I wouldn't of believed it! But as James looked around, he realized that they were the only people in the otherwise deserted Entrance Hall. "It's seemed like this day would never come, but now that it has, I don't know what to do with myself."

A tear ran down Lily's cheek as she spoke. If it had been any other girl, James would've put his arm around her, probably with the intent of shagging her in the near future. But, alas, this was Lily Evans, and we all know that James was a bit uncomfortable around her (probably because she was the only female in all of Great Britain that wouldn't sleep with him.) Instead, James awkwardly stuck his hands in the pockets of his robes (for lack of better use of them) and walked on with her in silence.

Tears continued to run down Lily's face for a few moments longer before she wiped them away with the arm of her robe and turned to him again. "Sorry," she replied sheepishly, "I just get a bit sad about these types of things."

"Me too," James replied honestly.

"I don't see you sobbing like a fool and making a complete spectacle out of yourself," Lily said with a smile.

James almost replied that it was because he wasn't a girl, but stopped himself right in time. A sexist comment like that would surely end his conversation with Lily on a poor note. I'm not saying that a comment like that would be sexist, because I personally don't believe it would—it's a proven fact that women cry more easily than men, check the statistics people. However, this is about what Lily thinks, not what I think—it's depressing when your best mate's love interest has more control of him than you do. So James' replied, "I just show my emotion in other ways, that's all."

You may wonder how I know the thoughts of my mate. Well, I don't know for sure. But I would hope that after seven long years of being best mates, I can attest that I know him limb from limb. Now I cannot account for everything said in this conversation (or in any conversation in this novel for that matter) since I was not there for a good amount of them (and I have a rotten memory when it comes to the minor details, so anything I was there for might have been tweaked a bit too). But, you'll get the jest of it, I'm sure. Anyways, back to the conversation.

"Like how?" Lily asked playfully.

James turned away from her, not wanting to answer this question.

After a few minutes of silence Lily repeated herself, "How do you show your emotion, Potter?"

"I can't tell you," James mumbled.

"What was that?" Lily questioned, good-naturedly tugging at his arm, which was still stuffed inside his dress robe pocket.

"I can't tell you," James repeated himself, now a bit louder.

"C'mon, you can't just say something like that and not explain yourself," Lily replied, tugging still harder on his arm. "I wanna know how _the_ James Potter expresses his feelings and emotions."

"Are you teasing me?" James asked, a smile now beginning to play around his lips.

"Maybe a little," Lily said, smiling up at him. James smiled in return. Lily loved it how, when he smiled, his whole face became part of it. "So, will you tell me?"

"Alright, but on one condition," James offered.

"Name the terms," Lily replied cheerfully.

"How about that sunset walk I used to ask you about?" James said reaching out his hand.

"Sounds perfect," Lily agreed, grabbing hold of it. As they walked off towards the lake and the setting sun, James realized that they had had their first real conversation. Ironic, though, that it should happen right as they were leaving school forever.

So, basically, this is was he missed my party for—a sunset walk and a talk about emotions, could it get any gayer? Seriously man. And my party was off the hook. True, I don't remember to bulk of it, but I woke up with two blondes in my bed and a monster of a hangover, so I'm sure I had a brilliant time…

Until the next,

Sirius Black


End file.
